the beginning

24^th January 2011 – Up, up, up!

So Im off. I try really hard to keep my restlessness in its leach, but when the world calls so persistantly, I find it hard to. I justify it with acknowledging the amazing oppurtunity that this journey is to me. 

Except for that, Im trying to live choosing the most challenging way, since I believe that is the best way for me to constantly develop. And god knows this has been a tough descicion to make, because even though this is the journey of my dreams, life in sweden is so easy. It is nice never having to think about economy, its nice not having to numb yourself in order to manage the injustice of the world. The bad conciounceness is wild and vivid in sweden aswell, but at least there you are not faced with it on a daily basis. Having a safe harbor should not be underestimated. 

Now im going on a journey that im not qualified for, the warm shower from yesterday will be a memory Ill treasure dearly since no one knows when Ill be experiencing that again. 

Leaving my family, once again, is increasingly difficult. At the same time I know I might be seeing parts of my other family, its all very double-sided. 

But there is one very effective cure to most of my fears, aside from challinging them head on, I just sit down, turn on the computer and turn on Into the wild. It reminds me of that part within me that only wishes for a life in the middle of the world. A life where I can feel my strenght and my weakness, as that is the only thing I have to work with. I am no supertramp, I lack his determination and I enjoy being the gueststar in most of the worlds that this earth has to offer, Im not the protagonist here, barely an observer. But this is a reality that I am looking forward to take part off. 

”You can't depend entirely on leaves and berries. - I dont know if you want to depend on much more than that” (Into the Wild)